I went to the drugstore.

Hello Mothership Internet,

My name is Bill. I am 97 and I live in Philly, practically under the El train. This is my first time talking to you. I see that you don't talk back here, maybe that's what all that email stuff is about. Anyway I had a funny story for you. Today was the worst day until the end. The pension check still hasn't come, and the N.R.A still hasn't sent out the news letters for the swap meet and its in TWO WEEKS!!!! My grandson, Ziggy, showed up to take me to the drug store to get more "jellybeans". Heh heh grandpa loves his jellybeans, (I tell all of my grandchildren that my meds are just jellybeans so they don't think grandpa is sick). So once Ziggy finally shows up on his bike an hour late, apparently he had a flat, he drives me to the drug store in the buick. Ziggy's a good kid he just sleeps too much. After getting through all of the traffic, stupid yuppies can't wait to get out of this city at 5pm and I am not sad to see them go, we get to the store. Now this is where things really got crazy, as soon as Ziggy shut his car door the whole neighborhood went dark. No shit it wasn't Ziggy but it sure did seem like it for a hot second! Heh heh! The only bad part was with the damn power off in the store I couldn't get my jellybeans. Luckily I had a couple extra that fell into the couch to tide me over. The night turned out that the swap meet is gonna be on Dec. 17th. That gets me out of going to see the god damn nutcracker with my crazy sister. She would never expect me to give up a N.R.A. swap meet to go watch a bunch of twinkle toes in tights. Nice talking to you Mothership Internet, I hope to hear from you soon.

Your new PenPal,
Bill Lafferty